The Colquitt Memorial

The Colquitt Memorial

WARNING: this is a rare, double issue posting from Soleil Sphere. It’s extra-long because it covers double the adventures of a normal posting and is perhaps the most highly-anticipated and controversial posting to date. Prepare yourself. I really only expect my parents to make it through to the end of this one.

Dear Universe,

As you may have picked up from tabloid covers, I’ve been touring the greatest nation’s metropolitan hot spots these past two weeks hobnobbing with the who’s who of Princeton’s social elite. Two weekends ago, I made a stop into the capital of this fine nation to see Señor David Matheo Colquitt (you may know him from 2005’s Memorial High School football highlight video, or perhaps you’ve heard that he is already favored in many polls for 2010’s Boyfriend of the Year).  This past weekend, I went to visit Miss Laura Leland Adams (Roommate of the Year from 2006-2009 and five-time Emmy nominee) in the concrete jungle where dreams are made of.  These are two of my greatest fans and admirers. Both of them wined and dined me as if I were obese royalty. Both of them totally neglected to photograph our adventures, and so I’ve been forced to illustrate this entry with the assistance of images taken by satellites owned by Google.

Because I’d spent Valentine’s Day with the Fallisses and David spent it at a camp with high school boys, we rescheduled the holiday for the following weekend. Unfortunately most calendars and Americans were unaware of the change and naively celebrated the week before. I arrived in the charming region known as Northern Virginia at 7:30 am on Saturday morning. David took me directly to a motel.  This had me suspicious at first, but (Will, put away your rifle and, Mom, put away your longings for grandbabies) apparently Falls Church’s most beloved breakfast spot is connected to a motel. It was a delightful meal. There were horses on the wallpaper. Being the thrilling visitor that I am, I took a quick nap after dropping off my stuff at the house where I stayed (I had woken up at 4 am) before we headed into the District of Columbia.

As a Valentine’s Day treat for me, David had planned a whole day of excitement and intrigue that spanned all different areas and aspects of our nation’s capital.  We started the day wandering through Georgetown and lunched in a historical tavern where JFK proposed to Jackie and some other more political stuff happened that I don’t remember or care about. Then, David miraculously overcame every strand of DNA on his Y chromosome and voluntarily took me shopping in the store that I love so much I decided to major in it. Some call it Anthropologie, I call it Heaven.  David held all the hangers while I carefully browsed through every rack in the three-level store and then played on his blackberry on the couch outside the dressing room with all the other straight men in the store.  What a champion. Afterwards, we ducked into a few stores that sell things that David likes like ties with little animals on them and striped polos.

david and i walking through DC

david and i walking through DC

After a couple of hours in Georgetown, we headed up to Dupont Circle and the National Portrait Gallery.  We saw some beautiful art and an Asian tourist took a picture of us kissing. Next, we went to an Ethiopian restaurant for dinner. (Cheesiness warning) We actually went to an Ethiopian restaurant in DC together our freshman year, and so David (who as a result of this likes to say that we’ve been dating 4 years off and on) said it was our four-year anniversary dinner. After dinner, we went to the famous Ben’s Chili Bowl for a milkshake. Sadly, we saw a bunch of white people and neither Bill Cosby nor Sasha Obama.

false advertising

false advertising

To end this unbelievably wonderful day, David took me to a jazz club where we had du vin and listened to music that we were not cool enough to know anything about. It was AMAZING, and the best live jazz in my extensive life experience (I went to Bakers Peters once as it was closing and heard the band’s last song.)

I’m gonna stop giving the play by play here and just focus on some highlights.

After church on Sunday, David and I met up with my former roommate Alison and her fiancé Drew.  This was one of my favorite lunches of all time. It was the first time I’d seen the happy couple since he put a ring on it, and they were giddy with post-registry and pre-nuptial bliss. David took it upon himself to do some marriage counseling and asked some penetrating questions. After forcing Drew to agree to call Al some nicknames that he thought up, David has decided to give the union his blessing.

I took Monday off work because I’d earned some time off from working on weekends and I couldn’t bare the thought of being in any other city on George Washington’s birthday, so on Monday, I got to be a spy for the Knoxville Fellows and go to Falls Church Fellows’ classes.  I learned all of their secrets and will be teaming up with Jay Cobble and Carol Ayres to use this information to shut the Falls Church Fellows down and steal all of their recruits.

When I left on Monday night, I declared the weekend the best ever in all of history. Little did I know what was awaiting me four short days later…

The Statue of Lo-ity

The Statue of Lo-ity

Laughing in the face of snowstorms, gale force winds, and cancelled flights, I glided into the Big Apple this past Friday night.  I didn’t get to Laura’s apartment till 11:30 at night, but we went straight out to dinner at the Spotted Pig.  After spending three years of college living in one room doubles with Laura, its been fairly traumatic to go without seeing each other for eight months.  We stayed at dinner till after 3 am, catching up on life, and occasionally squealing with delight just to be in the same city.

Getting to see Laura in her NYC life was incredible. She is looking so incredibly hot and stylish these days, you’d swear she was doing cocaine.  Her apartment is adorable and right near the corner of Broadway and 48th (near the Hershey’s store and the La Cage aux Folles theatre).

Saturday morning we ate brunch at a great place called Mud.  It had three of my favorite things: amazing coffee, and exposed brick interior, and a mimosa automatically included with the meal.


lo and i munching. yum.

The entire afternoon was dedicated to one of our greatest shared gifts: the art of shopping.  Blissful.  My favorite stop was the Top Shop. I didn’t buy this:



But I did get some other great finds.

Saturday night, Laura took me out to an INCROYABLE French restaurant where we had the best meal I’ve had in a long time. There are really no words to describe bliss.

After dinner, we had planned to go to a party that Laura’s roommate’s co-worker was throwing at a bar nearby with some friends of Laura’s.  We found out on the way that her friends had decided not to go after all, but we thought we’d just go anyway.

me and laura out on the town

me and lo out on the town

As we were telling the bouncer at the door that we were here for BJ’s  party (that is the person’s name and not the type of party), two tall and dashing African American young gentlemen rushed past us and inside. When we got into the elevator with these boys, they started chatting us up. One of them introduced himself as BJ and invited us to his party downstairs. We neglected to tell that that’s we were headed there already and graciously accepted. We got in line (making friends with some delightfully gay men), checked our coats, checked our make up, and strolled downstairs. As we walked into the room, a smile spread across my face. I knew we’d stumbled into the first social situation in our friendship where I would be hit on more than Laura. Victory. Laura’s long, lean, model-thin figure usually draws the boys in like moths to her flame red hair, but as the only white people in the room, I knew that we were in my ideal audience. Now, I’m against racial profiling generally speaking, but sometimes it works. White boys who went to boarding schools with British names start to drool the second she walks through the door. Not the same with me. I caught all the flirt that night, while you would’ve thought that Laura was a Dead Person and I was Haley Joel Osment. I only wish Sasha was there to share in my glory.  Now, don’t worry David and fans-of-David, I was giving out cold shoulders like campaign stickers at a tailgate. Laura and I tried to start a dance party, but for some reason it didn’t catch on. Shocking. We went upstairs and crashed another party where our white-girl-dance-skillz were more appreciated, but this party seemed to be mostly composed of balding middle aged men and twenty-something ladies dancing together. It was creepy. It belonged in a montage in an indie film that sells lots of soundtracks.

On Sunday, Liz came into town from Princeton, and we met up with some of Laura’s friends for brunch. We had planned to go to the Tim Burton exhibit at the MOMA, but it was sold out for the day by the time we got there, so we were tragically forced (completely against our wills) to go shopping yet again. Glorious.

me and lo shopping in the city

me and lo shopping in the city

And so the obvious question after reading these two enticing accounts is this: based on these two weekends, which of these outstanding individuals loves me more? I’ve developed a highly scientific scoring system that breaks down the weekend into key categories and rates them on a scale of 0-10:

Well, I guess we live in a nation that decides these democratically rather than rationally, so I’ll put it up to a vote:

Anxiously awaiting poll results,



~ by soleilsphere on March 3, 2010.

2 Responses to “DC/LA & DC/NYC”

  1. I feel rather out-blogged, I must say. Looking back, perhaps I should have left off that ghetto YouTube of my teacher and uploaded something more riveting like an episode of Sex and the City. I do hope that the person you’re visiting next weekend in another metropolis is ME IN PARIS. John will be here, too, so I think the three of us will have a great time. Miss you, Fanny Pants.

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